What if?
by Crystal56
Summary: Someone precious dies, what do you do? Characters relfect on the death of someone who was a friend, an ally and a wife. Tie in to Everlasting Sacrifice. Also redone!
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I don't own anything except the plot. Maybe the original character or two I throw in, but that is it!

What it?

Severus Snape was the best potions master Hogwarts had, but truth be told, he was overly modest on the subject. He only wanted to teach Defense against the Dark Arts, which she had been planning on teaching, and he wanted to fulfill her dream. But of course, he couldn't. Dumbledore wouldn't let him for some reason. So what was the use in teaching? It was her dream, and he wanted to live it for her, since she wasn't living anymore. He had grown to enjoy teaching, but he still missed her. His hair was a mess, but he only did that to smite her. She couldn't force him to wash it anymore. His hair used to be longer too. He'd been teaching for 14 years, and it seemed like forever since she left. Remus and Sirius had missed her as well, but neither of them talked about it anymore in front of Snape. She used to be able to stop them from being enemies, but only while she was around. She was Lily's best friend, like a sister to her.

She was the reason he became a spy. To protect her, he hadn't wanted to loose her, and so he could help stop the slaughter. Besides, she was already planning to destroy the Dark Lord, she had fought him multiple times before, she had destinies with him unknown to all, even the ministry had no records of those destinies, and they believed her a traitor. He smiled at the thought; it was funny that they thought her the traitor only because of her strength. He had willingly bled for her.

She had protected him, just as much as he had for her. At the school, he remembered when he was there, she was too, and he had tried to hex and curse her and get her mad at him. She never would, she'd just smile and never tell who had cursed her or injure her. She said she didn't do that to people she cared about. He remembered how she had saved him from sickness by making it to the forest temple in time, she was the Protector of Forest, and she had saved him, cared about him enough. She dared to care about someone like him!

He was always the outcast, and yet, she always hung around, she'd try to learn hexes from him, and he, he learned how to be happy. He didn't have any good childhood memories, except with her. She wasn't eve a Slytherin, well, she was for two years, and then had permission to 'transfer' to Gryffindor (be resorted) because her powers had affected her sorting. He was always humbled around her, simply because she was wise, powerful and courageous.

She taught him how to love, how to care. She had taught him how to hope. She inspired him to try to do better, even though people such as Potter and Black tormented him. But that was only when she wasn't around. They had even battled together, a great team. They won battles, but Severus was careful not to get her in a bad mood, or else in a Quidditch game she would hit a bludger at him. He missed that.

He could never hide the truth from her, one, she was a psychic, and two, she meant something to him. She always made things equal and fain when she was around, at least, more fair for her. She was short, but not too short.

But he killed her, took her life from Snape. The Dark Lord destroyed the threads of happiness that bound him to this Earth. He had taken her life. He had cried out his love for her forever. And then he swore never to forgive Voldemort, to keep on being a spy, and to live out her dreams. Lily was crushed. At least she never had to see Lily die, but she would have loved to see Voldemort's downfall.

He went on trial of course, but nothing really came of it. He was free. She had died, died to save him. She had run in front of the spell and took it head on. It plunged through her and she bled. She bled to protect his life. She had loved him. She loved him enough to marry him, to be with him. She would do something like that. She shined a light in his darkness, and Voldemort would pay. This time the Dark Lord would die and not come back, not because of the fact he hated him, but because she might still be alive. That was his hope. It was a false hope, wasn't it? What if he had taken the blow? What if she hadn't died? What would have happened if he had protected her better? He'd love her… forever…

What if?

He broke down and cried.


	2. Carry on Dancing

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter

Carry on Dancing

He knew her; after all, he was one of the two who fought to have her heart. Sirius pondered for the longest time why she chose Snape over him. He was the good looking one, and he never tried to curse her. Maybe that was it, maybe it was simply the fact he had hurt her. No, that couldn't be it, of course it couldn't. What did she see in him that Sirius missed? Sure, Snape said he became a spy to protect her, but now, she was gone, so why spy any longer, it wasn't like she or Lily were around anymore. He had really loved her, and she knew him better than James, he though. He respected her so highly, and was so afraid of her anger, when she was around and Snape was nearby, they wouldn't dare try to harm the other. He had received one kiss from her, just one. It was during his 5th year and her 3rd, and he remembered that for eternity.

He had seen them at a dance once, and he saw Snape wasn't dancing with her, and so Sirius had asked. She had said yes. As they danced, they talked about things. She knew his feelings for her, and yet she said she couldn't. Severus Snape had won her heart. It broke his in a few ways, but in others, it strengthened it. He could move on, do other things. He promised to protect her, even if she didn't love him.

He was there when it happened. He was there as that spell ran through her body. He remembered the blood. He had seen Snape's tears, and realized why. She was the only one who could reach him and save him from herself, and he did the same for her. Sure, his past was bad, but nothing like Snape's past, and she helped Snape realize that there was good in the world. Sirius remembered the funeral. The ministry was there, but only to see what she had left, so that they could confiscate it. All her stuff was; however, left to Snape and her friends, some books donated to the library, including some diaries. He was there, before Lily and James had died. He saw Snape, and couldn't think of anything to say. The pain was great for them. Remus had said it, he said that she wasn't really gone, she might return someday, so long as they still believed in her friendship and strength. Sirius was left her sketchbook, which moved onto Remus, and Sirius, where he had shaken her hand over an enchanted page, it had turned red, symbolizing his betrayal, blood red. How could he have betrayed her?

He never betrayed her, for Remus had made certain, through prayer at the temple, that she realized it was Peter's betrayal. Sirius still had some red on his page, but Peter's page was a darkened Crimson. She had set up that system, only to see who had betrayed her and who hadn't. Sirius felt like he had, and he had sworn to protect her, and she had died protecting Severus Snape. He felt like dirt, he was nothing better than a Death Eater; he couldn't save her, Lily or James. He still loved her, and hoped one day she would come back and just forgive him. He knew she would, but it hurt to know that she would without a punishment of any kind. She always blamed herself, for anyone who went through pain when she was around. She'd say that if only she was stronger, she could have protected them better and this wouldn't have happened.

He was sent to prison, but he didn't care. It was no more than he deserved. He swore vengeance on Pettigrew, on Voldemort. They had taken the glue that held so many friendships together, the strongest of all friendships. She was tied deeply to her friends, especially Lily and Remus and now the glue was gone from so many students. He couldn't bear not being able to see her and laugh with her again.

The ministry called her a traitor, she married a Death Eater, and she had too much power. He knew the truth, she had married her love, and her power came from the light and the dark, heaven and hell, love and hate. She had trained for countless hours to become stronger, but not to abuse her power and strength and rule, but to protect the ones she loved. The ministry saw her as a threat, but they didn't know. They didn't know and understand like Sirius Black did. He loved her, and she loved him back, that was what he knew, even if she never said it, even if she couldn't find true love more than once, with Severus, as was her curse.

And now, now he'd maybe get to see her again. For now, he too, had passed, and now, his heart would fill with joy again, along with sadness. He couldn't protect Harry anymore, but at least, at least he'd be able to see her again.

At least he could see her, once more.

_"Hey Sirius!__ Come on you don't want to be late!"_

A/N: Um…**Illegitime**** Carborundum need not apply, aside from insulting me in a most creative manner, you didn't exactly tell me what was wrong with the story nor did you explain anything. You just insulted me. For one thing illegitimate, you spelled Illegitime, wrong spelling. Your insults are petty because that's all you did. Flamers like you can just sod off and die. Unless you know me personally, going all out in the insult category, a little petty to do so against someone you don't know, right? But I guess that's just me. In your opinion I guess, _Maturity Need Not Apply Here._ That's how I saw you flame. I've had more mature flamers and you're one of those cowards who won't even leave an e-mail to discuss this... You have issues; I suggest you go see someone. Good day.**

**To all those that like this story, thank you for your kind and mature reviews. If you do flame, go ahead, I don't care, but keep it rated G-PG and act mature in it. Don't be a coward like Illegitime. Or even, don't read it if you don't like it at all! You chose to read it and that was your choice, I never forced you to. I don't know why I'm bothering. S/He isn't acting mature at all, but I am. Whatever.**


	3. I will be there

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or the song, just the original character.

I will be there

She was her best friend, she could confide in her anything, and they held a bond beyond all time and space. They communicated without words. Lily's best friend. They were closer than molecules, and even though one was a pure blood and Lily wasn't, they were friends. Their friendship took on all sorts of trials and the fact and point of their birth was insignificant.

Their closeness was occurring even before their years at Hogwarts, they were friends since early childhood. Lily had found something in her worth redeeming, and she helped release it to the world, the goodness, the kindness, deep inside. They began to do things so alike, people would call them sisters. They would laugh at that, because it was merely the fact that they knew each other and were friends for such a long time. But even then, after all the jokes and pranks and improper use of magic notes, they knew that it could be true, but how?

It all began with a Slytherin 'tradition' some older kids, including Lucious played upon her. They kidnapped her and tormented her, and she knew Severus wouldn't rescue her, because he needed to keep up a reputation, so Lily had to rescue her. She was the only one that could. Not even Dumbledore knew this was going on. She made her way into the Slytherin common room, through a password delivered by owl to her, possibly be Severus. No one was in sight, except for a young girl tied to a chair. Lily untied her, and bandaged up some of her wounds, planning to take her to a hospital wing. It was at that moment some Slytherins who had taken part in this sick game returned. Lily was red with fury and anger, and a new power was unleashed. A dragon appeared where Lily once was and everyone ran in fear. When Lily reverted to her original estate, she didn't exactly know what had occurred. She knew she could learn from her friend what it meant.

In the hospital wing, Lily told her what had occurred, and asked why she didn't tell the leaders of the houses what had happened, and her friend replied she didn't want to get anyone in trouble. She just wasn't strong enough, so it was her fault. Lily cried, because her friend always did that. They both decided to find out what was up, for she was just as surprised as Lily was. They sent a sample of their blood to a lab. When the results came in, it only drew them closer together as friends. The only one to ever figure out the secret was Remus; he was good at that sort of thing. He promised to keep it secret too.

Then there was that fateful day, when she decided to stand up to Voldemort again. She died protecting Severus Snape from an ultimately fatal spell. She had died to protect him, which was noble, and if you knew her, full of love and life. She did it to protect him forever. She always wanted to protect him. Lily wished she could be like that, and she soon received her chance.

Her son's life was in danger, and she knew that her sacrifice would do more than just put upon her son a protection spell so ancient that none could penetrate it, but it would also protect Harry's secret, and his secret power. No one, not even Dumbledore knew of this secret, only She did, along with Lily and Remus knew it and kept it close. Severus didn't even know, and he never thought of using the connection to try to find it out, but even she had said he wouldn't. He trusted her that it was good to keep it secret, and didn't try to find out. Lily knew, and in a way, that hurt her to know.

That fateful day came when the sacrifice was made, and Lily forfeited her life so her son could be protected, and she had done for Severus. She was a dragon, and by that power, the curse shouldn't have worked, except for the fact, Lily allowed it to take effect upon her, and let it drain her life. She'd maybe get to see her again, play a few tricks on the gods of the dead, and laugh by her side once more. She wasn't that special to anyone but those that knew her. Especially Lily, for even in the end she remembered how close those test results had brought them together, and they were better friends than before. As close as sisters, however, they weren't sisters. They acted like it but they weren't. They in fact…. were… cousins….

_"Lil, what's wrong?"_

_"Promise me you won't tell. It has to be our secret."_

_"But Lil…"_

_"Promise me!"_

_"All right, it's our secret."_


	4. Aurora

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or the song, just the original character and the plot.

The World and Fake Wings

He was one of the few who knew Lily and her secret. He was one of the few who had figured it out and now he kept the secret. He was good at keeping promises. Remus had known her, for a long time. She was one of his first female friends, as James, Sirius, and Peter were his first male friends, and best friends at that. Moony was what they called him after he had found out. After they discovered that he was a werewolf. When she discovered, she was ecstatic. She said she was so happy to meet one and one as friendly as him. She had known before everyone else because of her psychic powers, even before James and Sirius. He had felt so alone until he had friends like them. And with her around, even Severus was bearable at times. She held everyone and everything together.

He remembered how both Severus and Sirius had planned to win her heart. They time they tried to do something the week of valentines and how she had been so red all week and neither had the courage to admit what they sent, so she had to read their minds to find out who had sent what, and it was really funny. He remembered how happy she seemed with Severus and how he only felt a little sad because she had not chosen Sirius. Remus could see however, why she had made the choice she had. She loved Severus, and Sirius didn't often see that. He remembered that one…fateful night.

He had watched her die. He watched the blood pour from her wound and she whispered her goodbyes. He remembered his tears, Lily's tears, Severus's tears, and Siruis's tear. He couldn't forget. He remembered that before he had had his small groups of friends, as animals nearby, she was there. She never transformed into anything, she never had to. She was the protector, and he never felt bad when she was around, like he had to bite or howl…much. She'd laugh with him, cry with him. Her past was the worst, and because of that, they all felt better.

He was one of the few alive now, of the group. It really, well, only Severus and he remained. So did Peter, but Peter had betrayed her, so he didn't count, not anymore… right? All he could do was watch over Harry, as everyone promised to do. That and keep her secret, the only one she kept that was dearest. The fact that she and Lily were friends.

The fact that she and Lily were cousins by blood, and Harry was a dragon to the last ounce of his being. He would have to deal with that, and Remus wished that either she or Lily were there to ease him into that transition, but they had made their sacrifices, Lily to protect her secret and Harry's life, even though Dragon blood would have protected against the death curse, as it had off of her, but not Lily of course, for Lily had chosen death, and her sacrifice for Severus. Now, he'd have to be the one to help, when the time was right, when the moment of truth was needed to show into the light.

M'lady, Protector of Forest, please, you must return to them and guide them in the next step, now, more then ever, they need you to be alive.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or the song... geeze; I've done this one enough...

Whisper

Of course he knew her, how could he not? He was the headmaster, he knew all at Hogwarts. He knew her very well, even though she kept some secrets from him. He remembered when she came back from one of her adventures, and his heart pained at the sight of her... she was changed and never smiled like she used to, at least not for a long while. He knew there was little he could do to help her, but her friends did help to heal some of the wounds, both emotional and physical. She was always a surprise, and even if she was hurt, he knew all to well that she would be right back into the fray of a fight. He actually had to ask her help once in a while, all because she had some powers even he had never heard of. Dumbledore always knew when there was a practical joke being played or one that had been played, she was behind it. She was always receiving improper use of magic forms, but that, he thought, was just a formality. He did however; know some things that really weren't meant to be known...

For instance, the scar that ran down the length of her back diagonally. She never knew her parents, so he tried to be somewhat of a father figure to her. She was the only one ever miss sorted by the Sorting Hat, and that was fixed. She hated snakes, absolutely loathed and despised them. He knew that because he saw a trick played on her with a plastic muggle snake and she hid until it was on fire and burning to ashes. He knew, he was the one that lit the snake on fire. He watched her grow as she would, with falling for Severus and making a friend like Lily, and he found out later that they knew on another before she even started school. He never knew, however; the secret between the two and he really didn't mind, although it did bother him somewhat. He decided to leave it be however, for she wouldn't cause trouble with it, her or Lily. They were trouble makers, but if the secret was that deep, nothing bad would come of it. He remembered she liked the dark of night...

Of course he was there on that fateful night. He witnessed the tears of everyone there and saw the blood. He felt the pain with everyone, and he knew that even though he knew her, Dumbledore didn't know her as well as her friends did. That was why it almost broke his heart to see Lily, for the only thing that seemed to keep her from killing herself was the prospect of Lily and James' child, who was on the way. She seemed to feel hope, Lily did, towards the life that grew inside of her and that seemed to give her the strength to move on just a little bit better than before. Dumbledore did however give her many calls, always wanting to make sure she was all right, and he was always with Remus when he went to clean her grave, well, hers and Lily's and James' as well. It was hard to know them and then not be able to see them again. And yet there was hope.

He did know of the forest temple, of course he did, he had visited it frequently. She was its guardian and she did her job well. He often would say a small prayer there whenever he visited, for the health and safety of everyone in the school, but maybe he should have prayed harder.

She was the heir of two houses, both Slytherin and Gryffindor, and she knew just about everything there was to know about them too. Dumbledore would often smile at that fact, because one year, a report was due on the house founders, and she was the only one to ace it. She was the only one that could do a lot of things. She saved the school, she even had saved him.

At least she wasn't in pain anymore, he hoped, and maybe the other hope inside of him was true, she was alive...


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter

Note: Last chapter, I think, before I delve into the actual story line associated with the hidden "she" and other things besides. I may have other chapters, but this one shall be in first person, just FYI. I need it to be in first person, 'cause I found this amazing song to go along with it, with the mysterious character. Don't worry, I still won't mention a name, just to keep people guessing, so with that, please enjoy…

A New Day Has Come

I am the one that people more pain would result. I had to be stronger, I always had to be stronger, I could never be weak, but I was, and I didn't see that.

Severus… he of all people… I could see in him, kindness and warmth and light and a past that held tragedies not unlike mine and how could I not like him? I saw in him what most people never took time to notice, what they never wanted to see in him, what they overlooked, and what was invisible to those he kept his heart close to. I choose him over Sirius, not for looks, both were cute, and not for smarts, for both were also smart in their own ways. I choose Severus because he could reWhy not protect those close to me. I had to be strong, or else more pain would result. I had to be stronger, I always had to be stronger, I could never be weak, but I was, and I didn't see that.

Severus… he of all people… I could see in him, kindness and warmth and light and a past that held tragedies not unlike mine and how could I not like him? I saw in him what most people never took time to notice, what they never wanted to see in him, what they overlooked, and what was invisible to those he kept his heart close to. I choose him over Sirius, not for looks, both were cute, and not for smarts, for both were also smart in their own ways. I choose Severus because he could reach me, for he alone could understand what I've gone through, and even if Sirius said he could too, Severus understood with no words at all. I couldn't forget that, and he needed me like I needed him. He loved me and all I could do was fall hopelessly in love back, and we changed each other and shaped each other's lives to one another, and we loved each other grandly. Yes, grandly. It was a love that spanned both time and space.

_…_

I loved him…

_…_

Sure, he tried to curse me, tried to anger me, and get me to hate him, but I couldn't. I couldn't even hate Lucious. I hate very few people in this world, the Dark Lord, and the three evils that inhabit the portals, and that is all, no more, no less. Not unless someone angers me enough. Then I can hate and seek revenge. But not often. I always try my best. At Hogwarts, my best subject was potions, and Dumbledore wanted me to become a teacher there when the other teacher retired or left. I agreed, but I never got to, so I guess that is why Severus did it. To live out my dream for me. I never asked him to, but he did. I can see him teaching everyday from where I am, and he does a wonderful job, he just needs to lighten up, and that in itself is kinda large, I know.

He showed me strength at times and I loved it when he was there. I cried and wept for him, as he was hurt, and as he still loved me. He went through torment, and I didn't even believe it and I still can't believe it. I love him so very much. Even after my second year, with my ordeal that Lily and James and I had gone through he helped me, reluctantly I could tell, but he did his own way of helping me recover. I don't think he realized it for some time, but… he did help.

_…_

I was no angel, I was cursed from the day I was born, cursed to suffer and bleed and nothing it seemed could or would change that situation that I was now in. I was depressed, even when I met Lily for the first time. She hadn't seen what I had seen nor could know what I have been through, so how could she understand what I was going through?

I lived by my own rules for the most part, with so many destinies, I was higher in ran than the entire ministry of magic. My favorite was a set of 6 sayings, 'Honor guide my step, Wisdom clear my mind, Life be my shield, Passion fire my heart, Sky guide my thought, and Darkness hide my fear' and that was how I would try to live, even though at many times it seemed impossible to do. I did it the best that I could and I was strong enough to attempt that every time I needed to follow those sayings. I hated fighting, sure I did it often enough, I still hated it. I only truly fought to protect, and no other time… if I recall it properly…

Love, an emotion I never thought I would feel. Hope, something I thought I would never have. A reason to live, a reason to love, a reason to die…

Enough to sacrifice my life for the man who had loved me without question and without caring about my past. To sacrifice my life for my friends and a school that I had come to love. To sacrifice myself for all those that had helped me, and in the hopes that the future will be better than the past and that I had helped that future get better. I died, and I died for the cause that I wanted to die for. I left how I wanted to leave.

I felt my body writhe with some sort of force… Would I be brought back? But why, does Severus need me that much? I… I would like… to go back… to be with… him… one… last… time…

A/N: This one goes to Cassi Angelica who has been the only one to review this story to the end. I hope you continue reading when I actually do my formal 'chapters' with plotline and everything.


End file.
